Insufficient
These past few chapters of Isaiah have stumped me. There is a meaning to them deeper than my current level of understanding and knowledge. Beginning in chapter 14, there is a direct message to the neighboring countries around Israel concerning the time of God’s rest in Israel. There is some direct meaning and implications for these people, but who/when isn’t explicitly clear. Does it mean the literal people of Moab in Isaiah’s life? Does it mean Moab’s descendants in a future after my own life? I am not sure. My own knowledge of Moab is not complete. I don’t know their culture, the national interests, historiography or contemporary descendants. These are important for a more complete understanding of Isaiah’s prophecy.
This leads to an interesting topic: lack of personal knowledge. What do we do when our own knowledge pool, intellectual resources and physical abilities are depleted? As I pondered what to write about Isaiah 16, I felt my head pounding against an invisible wall. Some would call it “writer’s block,” but I think it is deeper. God, through my circumstances, is continually revealing my own insufficiency. As evidenced by this post, “writer’s block” isn’t the problem. The problem is my understanding of scripture. Even with my background in history, I have not studied enough. There are more books, more cultures and more past lives than seconds in my life to study. The universe God made is so vast it would take eternity to explore everything.
What is the answer to this conundrum? Read, listen, pray and wait. A day will come when my insufficiency will be made whole. Until then, I read Isaiah 16 blindly. There are sections I could cling to and derive some practical application but that is not the point. These moments remind me that I am not God. Regardless of my understanding, the issues and solutions will be implemented and achieved by God. There is comfort in that truth. If my understanding was the foundation for truthful interpretation the world would be doomed. Thankfully, God has it under control.
Being insufficient lead my mind to a curious place: the tension of pride and humility. There are many things a person can be prideful about. In today’s culture, in the Information Age, knowledge is a big deal. What do you know that your friend doesn’t know? The fact checkers and quick “google it” bots fighting for the appearance of superior knowledge. Today, knowledge is a great source of pride. What happens when we are ignorant or know we have insufficient knowledge? Do we buckle down and defend our ignorance? Or do we admit our finite nature?
The correct way to act is extremely obvious: just admit you don’t know. However, we are silly nonsensical creatures that like pretending to be more important than we are. When observing children, it funny to watch them compete and fight over “correct” knowledge of a game. For example, when a group of 8 to 11-year-old kids play Monopoly for the first time. One reads the directions and clearly doesn’t understand the rules (from an adult perspective) and shuffles the properties and deals to everyone. Then they begin to disagree because no one really knows how to play but everyone thinks they understand the proper rules. This is how I think of us grown adults trying to understand the rules of life that God laid out. Sometimes our ignorance is undeniably obvious, but we stick to our guns. Like playing with the Monopoly board folded in half or stacking the all the houses on one property in a pyramid. To an adult, this is quite silly. Yet, the children don’t always listen to an adult explain the proper way to play the game.
In what ways are we like the children? My own life is littered with instances. When my car doesn’t work, and I declare which part is broken (without proper mechanical training) and my mechanic friends just shake their heads—I don’t know the rules of that game. Or physics, when I claim to understand the equation of a phenomenon; do I know or did I just read an unknown, unidentified, random expert on the internet and plagiarized the knowledge as my own? You see, ignorance isn’t “bliss.” Ignorance is an opportunity to either be prideful or humble. Ignorance is a chance to grow and be taught or spew lies that boost and hide our insecurities.
At every step or our ignorance, God is the lifeline to give us strength. Psalm 73 is a fantastic reminder and worth reading in full to conclude. Despite the world and our insufficiency, God is our strength and will guide us into all truth.
“Surely God is good to Israel, to those who are pure in heart! But as for me, my feet came close to stumbling; my steps had almost slipped. For I was envious of the arrogant, as I saw the prosperity of the wicked. For there are no pains in their death; and their body is fat. They are not in trouble as other men; nor are they plagued like mankind. Therefore pride is their necklace; the garment of violence covers them. Their eye bulges from fatness; the imaginations of their heart run riot. They mock, and wickedly speak of oppression; they speak from on high. They have set their mouth against the heavens, and their tongue parades through the earth.
Therefore his people return to this place; and waters of abundance are drunk by them. And they say, “How does God know? And is there knowledge with the Most High?” Behold, these are the wicked; and always at ease, they have increased in wealth. Surely in vain I have kept my heart pure, and washed my hands in innocence; for I have been stricken all day long, and chastened every morning.
If I had said, “I will speak thus,” behold, I should have betrayed the generation of Your children. When I pondered to understand this, it was troublesome in my sight until I came into the sanctuary of God; then I perceived their end. Surely You set them in slippery places; You cast them down to destruction. How they are destroyed in a moment! They are utterly swept away by sudden terrors! Like a dream when one wakes, O Lord, when aroused, You will despise their form.
When my heart was embittered, and I was pierced within, then I was senseless and ignorant; I was like a beast before You. Nevertheless I am continually with You; You have taken hold of my right hand. With Your counsel You will guide me, and afterward receive me to glory.
Whom have I in heaven but You? And beside You, I desire nothing on earth. My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heat and my portion forever. For, behold, those who are far from You will perish; but as for me, the nearness of God is my good; I have made the Lord God my refuge, that I may tell of all Your works.” – Psalm 73
